The Truth Stole My Memories
by beltloop
Summary: Alphonse managed to bring Edward back from the gate by sacrificing Wrath. Unfortunately, that wasn't all that was sacrificed to bring Edward back. Edward wakes up in a hospital room with no memories of anything or anyone, well, except for one person. Who was Edward Elric and who will he become? Eventual EdxEnvy. In progress.
1. You Don't Remember Me?

**This is based from the 2003 Fullmetal Alchemist. I made some changes to what happened, though. Envy never went through the gate to the other world. This takes place after Alphonse sacrifices Wrath and opens the portal to bring Edward back, though nothing with the Thule Society comes through, just Edward, and unconscious at that.**

_**I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.**_

* * *

I was surrounded in blinding whiteness. In front of me sat The Truth, giving me a wicked grin. I shuddered, immediately having a bad feeling about the situation, "What do you want? Why am I here? I didn't do anything."

"It's time for you to go home, Edward Elric."

"I can't go back yet. Alfons needs me; he's still got time left!"

"That's not your decision to make. It's almost time."

"I can't leave yet! He's dying!"

The Truth's grin grew wider, "Oh, yes. I'll make sure you don't look back. Your brother isn't the only one who has to sacrifice something to get you through."

What was that supposed to mean? Alphonse is behind this? What is he sacrificing?

The Truth pointed to something behind me and I turned to follow. The looming gate stood behind me, slowly opening. There was nothing but gaping darkness beyond the doors with little black hands lashing out at me. They grabbed my limbs, violently pulling me towards the door. I dug my heels into the floor and screamed as they enveloped my whole body. There was sharp, deep pain in my head before I was welcomed into the dark void, into nothing.

* * *

I slowly awoke to brightness. As my eyes adjusted, I could tell that I was in a hospital room. The morning sun was streaming in through the window, the walls were lame and undecorated, the sheets covering my body were plain, and I was propped up on a railed bed. I pulled at my limbs, only to find two strapped down. The other two didn't respond.

"Brother?" a small voice piped up. I looked around to see where it came from. There was a boy beside the bed; he seemed to be about 16 years old. He had long, dirty blonde hair pulled back in a pony tail, greenish gold eyes, and there was a red jacket folded in his lap.

He looked ecstatic as he grasped my left hand, "Brother! You're awake!" I furrowed my brow, looking at the stranger beside me. Brother? Who is this boy? Though he was a total stranger, his presence brought a sort of comfort to me, I felt like I needed him here.

"You're back in Amestris, brother! I brought you back! We're finally together again. There is so much I want to talk to you about!" Brought me back? Where was I? Where am I? Who is he?

The confusion must have been obvious on my face. The boy's smile faltered as he searched my eyes, "Brother? It's me, Al. Remember?"

"Al?" My lips felt weird forming his name. My voice held no element of recognition and the boy flinched away from me.

"You don't remember me?"

I don't remember him. What do I remember? I racked through my brain, trying to search for memories. How did I get here? Who is this? Who am I? I started to panic, my arm and leg struggling in their restraints. I thrashed my head to the side, "What's happening? Where am I? Who are you?" There were so many questions.

The boy named Al abruptly stood up with a fearful look, "Edward?" I blink at the name and stopped thrashing, a cold sweat breaking out on my face. My name is Edward. It feels right. "Edward, it's me, Alphonse, your brother. I…I brought you back from the gate. You're in a hospital, you were in a coma. You've been under for 2 whole weeks. Do you… Do you not remember?" I shook my head, confused.

Just then, a friendly looking woman walked in with a pleased look on her face, "Oh, good, you're finally awake!" I assume she is the nurse, since we are in a hospital.

"Nurse Price..." Alphonse croaked out, "He doesn't remember."

The nurse stopped in her tracks, looking at the expression on Alphonse's face and then looking at me. She frowned, "Alphonse, we told you this might happen. When we took the x-rays, it showed brain damage that could result in amnesia."

Alphonse stumbled backwards, clutching the red coat to his chest, "No!" he gasped, "This can't happen!" He looked at me, stark horror on his face, and I could tell something was broken inside him. "You have to remember! You're my brother! Someone has to remember!" He was yelling and crying now and it was all very frightening to me. I tried to be as small as I could in the hospital bed as he kept yelling at me. I felt guilty for not remembering, I wish I could just to have this boy feel better.

The nurse walked over to him, "Alphonse, calm down. Please," She escorted him out of the room. I could hear him bawling from down the hall. It upset me and I felt like crying, myself. I felt my lip quivering.

Minutes passed, and suddenly the door opened. A man with short brown hair with a serious expression walked in, wearing a white coat and sported a clipboard, "Hello, Mr. Elric," he greeted. Edward Elric. That must be me. I assumed he was my doctor as he walked across the room and observed some machines I was hooked up to, writing down information on his clipboard, "It seems that health-wise, you are perfectly fine." Oh, that's good to know. The doctor then starts removing the restraints on my limbs. Afterward, he took a seat in the chair that Alphonse sat in, looking at me curiously. "I have reason to believe you might have amnesia. Tell me, Mr. Elric, what all do you remember?"

I bit my lip and tried to think hard, but nothing came to mind. I found myself sitting straighter under the doctor's analyzing gaze, "I don't remember anything, doctor," I replied. I really hoped that he wouldn't be upset with me like Alphonse was. The doctor nodded and wrote something down on his clipboard.

"And by anything, do you mean what happened that got you here or anything at all?"

"At all."

The doctor gave me a pitying look and stood up. "I'm sorry, Mr. Elric. I would like to be able to say that maybe there would be a possibility that you could somehow regain those memories, but I truly don't think there is," the doctor pulled out a sheet with an x-ray from my head on it, "It seems that the section of your brain that contains your past memories is irreplaceably damaged. I don't know how this happened, or if you will retain current memories, but we can only hope that this doesn't lead to problems in the future," the doctor stood up and walked to the door, "And you have a lot visitors. Just thought I should let you know."

I was left alone in the room. Okay. So, apparently I have a brother named Alphonse, I was at somewhere with a gate, and I have been in a coma with a bad case of amnesia. I brought my hand up to brush my hair out of my face and pulled my leg in close.

Wait. What? The doctor only released two restraints. I can't feel two limbs.

I looked down. My left leg wasn't there. Neither was my right arm. I pulled my hospital gown up to my waist, curiously probing at my stump of a thigh. There seemed to be a mechanical device hooked into it, like a port of some sort. It seemed so complex, I couldn't help but to be in awe. There was deep scarred tissue surrounding the whole stump and I was curious. What could have caused this? I wonder what happened. I pulled my gown back down. I pulled the gown from my shoulder and went to look at my missing arm and found the same deal, but the port-thing went over my shoulder and onto the corner of my chest. I could feel the coolness of the metal on my shoulder blade, too. The scars on my chest were more jagged and violent looking. I brushed my finger along part of the scar and shivered, my skin seemed to be especially sensitive on them. I wonder what the story is that gained me these scars. Maybe Alphonse would know?

I closed my eyes and stretched my body. I groaned as my spine, shoulder, elbow and knee cracked satisfyingly. I rotated my stiff neck around a little, earning a few cracks there.

The door to my room opened again and in walked a girl with large blue eyes and light blonde hair that was pinned up on her head. She was carrying a large brown brief case and her face lit up when she saw me. Alphonse trailed behind her. He looked defeated and tired. I felt a pang of guilt shoot through me. Was this because of me? I frowned.

"Edward!" The blonde girl squealed. She threw her arms around me and held me close to her. I blushed at her close contact and looked over her shoulder at Alphonse, my eyes pleading for help. "I've missed you so much…" Oh god, is she crying? I don't know what to do, so I just raise my hand to her back and uncertainly pat it.

"Winry…" Alphonse tried to tug Winry away from me, "He doesn't know who you are." He was wearing the red coat he was holding earlier. Now that I think about it, his clothing seems a little goofy. I wonder why he dressed like that.

The girl named Winry yanked herself away and I was startled by her sudden reaction. I felt the need to apologize, and I did so. The girl sat down in the chair that Alphonse and the doctor both sat in and suddenly looked very grieved. Alphonse stood beside her, shuffling his feet a little.

"There's no need for you to apologize, Ed. I shouldn't have hugged you like that anyways, I know that you don't remember me," She sniffled and held out her left hand to me, "So I have to introduce myself. I'm Winry Rockbell." She wore a pained smile.

I stared at her outstretched hand and back up at her. I suddenly felt very relieved that she did this and I gratefully shook her hand, giving her a sincere smile, "Apparently, I'm Edward Elric. It's very nice to meet you."

Both Alphonse and Winry looked shocked at my return of pleasantries. It suddenly felt very awkward and I took back my hand, "Did I say something wrong?"

Winry suddenly started giggling, "No, no. It's just that… That was completely out of character for you to say." Alphonse let himself smile a little.

I furrowed my brow. I wonder how I'm supposed to act. Should I act like how I am now? Or should I figure out who Edward Elric is and try to act more like him? Would they like me better this way or how I was? And who is Winry to me? Is she my sister? She and Alphonse seem pretty close, "Winry?" I felt awkward asking this question, "Who are you?"

Winry seemed hurt and I felt guilty again. She sighed, "I suppose that's a good question to ask, though we should figure out a way for you to word it better in the future. I'm…" She bit her lip, looking like she was trying to figure out how to phrase everything together for me, "I'm your childhood friend! We were neighbors, I suppose I'm like a sister to you," She smiled blindingly at me, "And I'm your mechanic!"

My mechanic? I gave her a bewildered look before looking down at my missing arm and remembering. Oh right, the ports. So, I guess that means she's going to give me metal limbs? How strange. Metal doesn't seem very practical to me.

After Winry told me that she was my mechanic, she opened up the brief case on her lap. She held up a metal leg and wiggled it in the air a little. I gawked at it. It was a work of art. The design was so realistic; I was amazed at its intricacy and grace. Was it as practical as it looked? Winry moved the brief case out of her lap and set it on the floor. She got out of the chair and sat on the bed beside me. Alphonse took her seat.

"Do you want me to put the automail on you right now? I made some height adjustments; you've grown a few inches. It should fit you just fine if my measurements are correct. Which they always are," She boasted, grinning.

I've grown a few inches? That's odd. But I guess it would be useful to have two legs to walk on if I want to get out of this bed anytime soon. I'll ask my questions later. I nod my head at Winry.

Winry took the leg and started hooking it up to the port on my thigh. She stopped and looked up at me, "Are you sure? I have to connect your nerve endings. It will hurt."

"How bad will it hurt?" This makes me a little concerned.

"I heard it's worse than childbirth…" She laughed, nervously rubbing the back of her neck, "You've had worse. And you've had this done countless times. You used to break them all the time and I'd have to make new ones."

"I broke _that?_ How the hell did I manage that?!" I gaped.

She shrugged, giving me an amused glance, "I donno. You never would tell me. Neither would Al. So, do you still want to do this? If we do both the leg and the arm at once, it'll be better."

"Sure. It's either that or a wheelchair, yeah?" I smile reassuringly at her.

She smiled back, "Yeah, that's right. I don't know if you'll be able to use it as well as you used to because of the amnesia, but it could take a while for you to get used to and relearn. Alphonse?" She turned to him, "Could you get the arm?" Alphonse nodded, bending down and taking the arm out of the case. It was equally, if not more, admirable than the leg. "Alphonse studies automail under me whenever he comes to visit, so he'll be able to do this as well as I can, right Al?"

Alphonse nodded, pushing down the hospital bed so that I'm lying flat. He lined up the arm with my shoulder and hooked it up.

Winry looked up at me, "Are you ready?" I nodded, closing my eyes, "Alright Al, on three. One… Two…

"Three."

I screamed. Pain. Agony. My arm and leg were on fire. My hand lashed out for something to grab and I ended up clenching the rail of the bed. The pain shot up my leg and into the core of my chest and I wanted to rip my skin off. I kept screaming, my eyes clenched shut and my fist turned white as it tightened on the rail. Lightening was shooting through me. I had just dipped my limbs into lava. Bees were stinging every inch of my flesh. The pain was far too intense and I didn't know how much longer I could deal with it.

* * *

Before I could actually think, all I could feel was ache. The mind numbing pain was gone, the heat had gone down, but it was all still there. I groaned and opened my eyes to find Winry dabbing at my face with a cool rag. I was propped back up in the bed and Winry looked worried.

"You passed out. I… I didn't know it would hurt you that much. I'm sorry," She sat down on the side of the bed, "In the past, you held up so well… I should have expected your pain tolerance to be different. I'm so sorry," she looked like she was about to cry.

"Winry, it's okay. It's over now. We got it out of the way. And it hardly hurts now!" I gave her a reassuring smile as I lied through my teeth. It still hurt like hell, but I really didn't want her to cry again. It felt wrong to make her cry.

"Really? You've only been out for an hour. Can you try to move your fingers? I need to know if you will have to learn how to work them all over again."

Before I could think about it, I moved my right arm in front of me, flexing the metal hand before my face. It felt natural to me. Winry gawked at me as I gawked at the arm. It was so… Perfect. I individually moved every finger and rotated my wrist, testing out how well it worked. It was almost like my real hand, but metal, "Wow…" I held my two hands together in front of me, "You _made_ this?"

Winry nodded, blushing a little. "Of course, Ed. Granny taught me everything she knows."

"This is incredible, Winry," I was amazed at the detail and the artistic form the arm had, the simple, yet intricate piece of art that it was, "It's beautiful." I was a little blown away, you could say the least.

Winry was full on blushing now, "Oh, I wouldn't say that," she giggled, "I never knew you felt that way about it."

I shrugged timidly, blushing at her blush. Winry was very pretty, she seemed to be about 20 years old and her face was very mature and womanly. It was cute seeing her giggle, like a teenager, and I enjoyed being the cause of it. I smiled at her.

Alphonse cleared his throat a little loudly. I looked up to see him standing in the corner of the room, glaring at me. I immediately felt like I did something wrong. Was he mad at me? What did I do?

Did Alphonse like Winry? Shit.

"Winry, we should go tell the others that he's awake again. I'm sure they'd like to see him," Alphonse took her hand and rushed her out the door before she had a chance to object. I blinked, my eyes following after them. Alphonse seemed pretty possessive over Winry. I felt kind of bad; did it look like I was flirting with her? I didn't mean to. Did I? I groaned.

There are others? I remembered the doctor telling me that I had visitors. I wonder how many new people I'll have to meet. This really sucks. I feel like all I do is make them sad about the Edward Elric that I was. I didn't want to do this.

The door to my hospital room swung open and in walked Alphonse and Winry again. Following them was a man with a blue uniform and black hair, a blonde woman in a matching uniform, a short old lady with a grey bun, and a woman holding hands with a little girl.

I shuffled uneasily in my bed as they all stared at me. The first person to break the silence was the little girl. She looked about 7 years old and she had the biggest grin on that I've ever seen.

"Edward!" She jumped up on my bed and wrapped her arms around my neck, "We missed you so much!" I laughed nervously, hugging her back.

"Elysia, darling, Edward doesn't know who you are," The woman she was previously holding hands with tried to intervene. I assumed that she was the girl's mom.

The girl, Elysia, untangled herself from me and sat in my lap. "You don't remember me?" Her lip quivered and she looked like she was about to cry. I instantly felt bad. I didn't want her to cry. I didn't want anyone to cry. This was unfair to me.

"I'm sorry, Elysia," I comfortingly patted her back, "I don't remember anything or anyone, it's nothing personal."

"You don't remember anyone? Why not?" Elyisa cocked her head questioningly.

"I don't know," I shrugged.

"So… You don't remember Daddy either?" I could feel the atmosphere in the room change as she said this. It was like being under a wool blanket of uncomfortable. The man with the black hair looked down and the blonde lady reached out to him. Elysia's mom looked shocked and pained. Winry even bit her lip, averting her eyes. I looked to Alphonse in confusion. He seemed sad, but not as much as the others. The old lady seemed to have no idea what was going on either. "Everyone should remember Daddy," Elysia's voice was soft, "I'll help you remember!"

"Elysia, that's enough, come here," The woman picked the girl up from the bed and pulled her into a hug. The woman looked at me nostalgically, smiling sadly, "Edward," She greeted warmly, "I'm Gracia, and this is my daughter Elysia. We were friends of yours," She laughed awkwardly, and then corrected herself, "Well, we _are _friends of yours."

I smiled at her sympathetically. I know this must be hard on these people. Should I introduce myself? She already knows who I am. I'd feel impolite if I didn't say anything, so I simply said, "Pleased to meet you, Gracia."

She gave me a strained smile as she set Elysia down. Winry and the old lady were bickering, and Alphonse was trying to step in. The awkwardness in the room seemed to lift a little.

The man in the uniform stepped towards me. He was average height, the uniform was stiff, and he sported a black eye patch. He was a very attractive man. He looked down at me on the bed and sighed, "Edward…" He smiled softly. He reached out to touch me, as if seeing if I were real. What is with this guy? I've only been out for, what, two weeks? I looked up to his face and saw how tired he looked, but how happy he was to see me.

"Uh…" I'm sure I looked confused as hell, because the man sat down in the chair beside my bed and shook his head in disbelief.

"You really don't remember, do you?" He looked at me through his black bangs, which were a little long like he needed a hair cut. I shook my head, frowning. What is my relation with this guy? Is he my dad or something? My lover? The man in question brings his hand up to brush his hair out of his face. His smile turned bittersweet and I felt saddened by it.

"I'm sorry," I reached my hand out to him, to try to console him or something. I really hope he wouldn't start crying like Winry and Elysia. This man's reaction seemed more intimate than the others and I felt like this man had been important to me. His presence brought a sort of warm feeling to me, yet he irritated me.

The man shook his head, "No, Edward, don't be sorry. I'm Roy," He held out his hand for me to shake, and I took it, "Roy Mustang. I used to be your superior officer in the military," He shook my hand and held onto it a second more than was necessary. He pointed to the blonde woman behind him, "And this is Riza Hawkeye," She also shook my hand. She looked like she was here more for Roy rather than me, but she still smiled warmly at me.

And what was this about him being my superior officer? How old was I? And this doesn't explain anything about why he feels so close to me, "I was in the military?"

Roy chuckled, folding his hands in his lap, "Yes, you were a major. A State Alchemist."

"State Alchemist?" What the hell was he talking about? A major? That's a high ranking, isn't it? If I grew up with Winry that must mean that I'm her age… Right? But that couldn't be right.

Roy nodded, pulling out a silver pocket watch, "This was yours. Every alchemist get one when they joined the military," he tossed it onto my bed and I held it up. It was rough and scratched up, like it had been through hell, "You were a prodigy in alchemy, both you and your brother."

I had tons of questions raise in my head at this, but the only one I asked was, "What's alchemy?"

The chatter in the room suddenly stopped. That heavy blanket of awkward was back and I inwardly cursed myself. I felt it was a valid question, was it the wrong thing to ask? The blonde lady put a hand on Roy's shoulder as he stared at me in shock. Alphonse gave me a heartbreaking look and Winry gasped. I sunk down into my sheets. I wish this would stop happening. Was this a bad subject? I twiddled my thumbs, waiting for someone to answer me.

It was Alphonse who finally spoke up, giving me somewhat of a textbook definition, "Brother, Alchemy is the science of understanding the composition of matter, deconstructing it, and reconstructing it to make that matter into another form. We dedicated our lives to it, you were an alchemical genius."

"Genius, huh?" I didn't really understand, but I grinned anyway, trying to lighten the mood. I'm sure that now I'm probably not a genius anymore since I don't even know what alchemy is. This is apparently a big deal to everyone. I feel like I let everyone down and I don't like feeling like this.

Roy chuckled, giving me a small smile. Alphonse bit his lip before speaking, "If you want… I could maybe try to teach you. I'd take you to Teacher, but she passed away a few years ago."

I felt unsure about this, so I shrugged, "I still don't really get what alchemy is."

Alphonse held up a finger, signaling me to wait a second. He walked over to a table beside my bed and took some napkins from it, pulling a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle with shapes in it on the beige table. He paused, letting me observe it. It felt sort of familiar to me. Apparently the recognition showed because Alphonse's face brightened up at my reaction, "Brother! Do you know what this is? Do you recognize it?"

I gave him an uneasy laugh. Yeah, I recognize it, but I don't really know what it is, "Sort of. What does it do?"

Alphonse dropped the napkins onto the circle and calmly pressed his hands to the edge of it. There was a cackling sound, a slight smell of ozone, and small blue shocks seemed to come from the napkins. The smell comforted me and I leaned closer to see what it did. In the circle was a paper crane made out of the napkins. I gasped, "How did you do that?"

Alphonse smirked at me, "Alchemy, brother. I'll teach you."

I turned back to Roy, who definitely seemed happier, "Can everyone do this?"

Roy shook his head, "Not everyone. In here, only you, Alphonse, and I can."

"Wow, it's amazing," I wanted to try this thing out really badly. I can wait, though.

Roy hummed in agreement, "I suppose it is. I'm glad you're back, Edward."

"Back? I don't think this counts as me being back. And besides, I was only out for what, two weeks?" I laughed. Roy froze.

Actually, everyone froze. God dammit, why does this keep happening?

It was the old lady who spoke up this time, "Edward, you've been gone for four years."

What? Four years? Wow, didn't see that coming. "Where was I?"

The old woman shrugged, "We'd all like to know that, but since you've lost your memories, I suppose it remains a mystery. It was a miracle that Alphonse found you."

I remember what Alphonse told me when I woke up. He brought me back from the gate, whatever that meant. I looked up at him and he averted his eyes from me. He knew something about it. I assumed that if he were to tell me, it wouldn't be in front of all of these people. I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest. "Well, that sucks."

"We all thought you were dead," Roy murmured, looking at me like I was some treasure. It made me feel kind of uncomfortable, so I turned back to the old lady.

"So, who are you?"

"Pinako. I'm Winry's granny. Practically raised you n' Al myself," She boasted.

I smiled at her, "Nice to meet you," I wonder why she raised us. Did we not have parents? I feel like this would be another topic that would make everything awkward, so I refrained myself from mentioning it. I'll talk to Winry or Alphonse about it later.

Gracia suddenly gasped and pulled out a tub of something from her bag, "Edward! I know how much you hate hospital food, so I decided to bake you something! Sure, it's not a meal," She walked over to my bed and placed the small tub in my lap, handing me a fork, "But it's better than the stuff they have here," She grinned at me.

I curiously pried the lid off of the tub and the scent of apples and cinnamon hit me like a bulldozer. My stomach grumbled and I didn't realize how hungry I was. I wielded the fork and attacked the slice of pie, stuffing my face with its deliciousness, "Mmph, Grashia, thish eh derishish!" I exclaimed, my mouth full. She laughed at me and I found myself smiling.

"The doctor said that he'd like to keep you here until tomorrow morning, just to make sure you're alright, so I didn't bring much. I have more of it at home. You're welcome to visit Elysia and me anytime you like and I'll cook more."

I swallowed the mouthful of pie and gratefully looked up at the woman, "Thank you so much, I appreciate it." She smiled at me.

I suddenly felt very tired as I finished the pie. I yawned, stretching my arms, listening to the bones crack and the gears shift. The others seemed to get the hint and started to bid me farewell, promising to return. Roy smiled at me and placed a leather journal and pencil on the table beside me. I assume that it's for me. I smile back, waving dismissively. He was pulled out the room by Riza. The last to leave was Alphonse, who said that he'll be back in the morning. I nodded and he smiled.

I was all alone again. I took the journal that Roy left me, and opened it. On the back of the cover, my name was written elegantly. I blushed. This man must really care about me. I flipped through the pages and found them all to be blank, so I picked up the pencil and started writing down a list. I decided to write everything I found out about my past down, just in case I forget anything.

My name is Edward Elric, I'm the brother of Alphonse, I was raised by Pinako, Winry is my mechanic/sister?, Gracia is my friend, her daughter is Elysia, don't ever mention her dad, I'm a state alchemist or something, I was missing for 4 years, Brought back and was in a coma for 2 weeks, got bad amnesia, I don't think I have parents, I don't have two limbs, and apparently I'm a genius.

It was all a lot to take in and I closed the book. I couldn't think of anything else that I found out today so I closed my eyes, letting sleep wipe away my worries.

* * *

Someone was poking my arm. I woke up and the room was dark. A pair of violet eyes met mine, "Oh, look! The pipsqueak's awake!"

I gasped, flinching away from newcomer. I felt my temper rise at being called a pipsqueak and I was confused. Who was this? It was really too dark to see.

"Who are you? What are you doing here?" I squinted, trying to get a good look at who was here.

"Oh, you don't remember me? Tsk, tsk. I'm hurt," He walked across the room and flipped on the lights and I was met with a very androgynous looking teenager. He had long green hair, water falling from a headband in long, separated strands. He was incredibly pale and his skin almost glowed, he was muscular, but not in a buff way. He wore a skimpy black half tank top that covered up everything from his chest to the bottom of his neck, a matching skort and fingerless gloves. His hands were placed on his skinny hips as he observed me in return.

The weirdest thing about him, though, was that I knew exactly who he was.


	2. Feeeels Weird

_**I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.**_

"Envy?"

I felt a deep, resonating ache in my chest as I suddenly _remembered. _I clutched at my chest and gasped in pain. It was completely overwhelming, and images and scenes started to force themselves to my attention, completely overtaking my vision.

_Suddenly there was nothing but blackness except for a lean, ambiguous figure standing before me._

_"Who are you? What's your name?" I had lost a lot of blood and my spirit was destroyed._

_They smirked, "Well, that depends. I can be whoever you want. So, who would you like, Mr. Fullmetal Pipsqueak?" He leaned forward and looked at me like I was a child, placing his hands on his hips, "Huh? Maybe a… Taller version of you?" _

_I growled at the short joke and threw a halfhearted punch, my body wore and tired. He calmly stepped back as my fist whipped past his face. _

_"My, my. The determined little pipsqueak wants to start a fight. But I donno… I'm really more of a pacifist." _

_"Stop calling me a pipsqueak, it puts me in a really bad mood!" I swiped at the air in front of me, about to clap my hands. My automail arm suddenly fell limp by my side. I stared down at it in horror. Next thing I knew, there was a swift kick to my head, knocking me back. Another kick, two more kicks. I flew backwards, landing right on my face. _

_"Just remember that you were the one who started this sparring match, Pipsqueak. Do you have any idea who you're trying to pick a fight with here? Huh?" A swift kick to my side flipped me over to my side. I gasped in pain, it hurt so much… I don't know how much longer I could hold up. _

_"The only reason I haven't killed you is that we were told not to. But I will never forgive you. And there will never be a time when I am able to forgive you, for carrying that bastard's blood in your veins!"_

I was hyperventilating. I couldn't breathe. It hurt. It hurt so bad.

_Another kick to my head sent me lying back on the floor. I could feel my heartbeat in my ears and the pain was relentless. _

_"This pointless chitchat stops here. So, Pipsqueak, why don't you shut up and get to work on the transmutations now? You can start by fixing the ceiling." He was kneeling over me now. I clenched my jaw and looked up at the ceiling but the memory was cloaked in blackness. _

I pulled my knees up to my chest and put my hands over my ears. I knew I was making noise, I wasn't sure what. Maybe I was screaming, maybe I was crying, or maybe I was laughing. I couldn't tell. I just wanted this to stop.

_He kicked me right in the face, "We weren't created by anyone. We were born." I clutched at my ribs, trembling. I was so scared. I was going to die here. Blood was all over my hands._

Please make this stop. Please.

_"We laid the fake bait and sure enough, every idiot interested in the stone came flocking."_

It hurts.

_He wasn't talking to me this time. He was facing me, but he was looking over his shoulder at something in the blank darkness, "Hah. I thought for sure you and your brother would have gotten the message after your pathetic attempt to bring back mommy. You've got to spend life to make life. C'mon, this is basic alchemy here! Don't kid yourself into thinking there's someway around it, 'cause there's not. As they say, death is the high cost of living."_

_Anguish. Defeat. Hatred. Greif. Sorrow. Pain. _

I felt my hands clawing at my open eyes, even though I could only see the lake of memories that I was being pulled into, "Make it stop…"

Memory after memory, I am sure that I'm screaming now. Every hit, every wound, he could feel it so vividly. Every emotion. It was hell. I'm sure I'm in hell. I could feel my wrists being pulled from my face and there was a hand on my chest, gently pushing me back down onto the bed. I didn't give it any thought. I couldn't. My body was screaming, and I was in misery.

_"Quite an amazing feat, Edward," An old man graying hair commented._

_"Doctor Marcoh? I was never sure where you went…" I gazed up at the man as a bright light flashed and suddenly a friendly looking man with stubble and glasses was standing in front of me. _

_"Sure you did, Ed. Oh, you were the one who found the old doc and just waved goodbye as he went into the furher's custody. Now, that was a great idea. Poor man ended up in that thing's stomach," The man pointed at something behind me and I turned to look, but there was nothing but darkness. I gasped, my past self seeing something that my current self wasn't able to._

_"Wouldn't have died if you hadn't tagged him down. Of course, you were bad luck for a lot of us, weren't you?" The man pulled three knives out of no where and expertly threw them at me, but I dodged just in time, "I'd still be with my wife and my adorable little girl if I hadn't have met you. It must be tough fighting against a friend that you've already killed once." _

_I felt empty listening to the man's words, though I knew that it wasn't him. He leapt at me, pulling out another knife as he went to slice. I dodged, going to my knees as the knife flew overtop of my head. He went to knife me again, but I stepped to the side. Again, one went over my head as I got down. I took the man's arm and held it against his back, wrapping my arm around his neck. He dropped the knife as he tried to pry my arm away from his throat. We fell to our knees._

_"Is that all you've got?" I growled._

_"Release me."_

_"Impersonations with guilt trips attached?"_

_"Damn you!"_

_"You'll have to do better than that! You're still a homunculus under that face. Have you forgotten what I did to your friend Sloth? I killed her while she was wearing the face of my own mother!"_

_"Really?" Another flash of light as a brown haired woman with amethyst eyes turned to look at me, "That must have been very hard for you." _

_I was stunned for a moment and Envy used it to his advantage, throwing me back with an elbow to the stomach. He changed back to his original form, "So, not as tough as you think." He turned, smirking at me._

This time, it was an overwhelming amount of emotion. The physical pain from the earlier memories left their marks, but I could feel _this _down to my very core, "Make it stop," I repeated, "Makeitstop…"

_"Do you think I'm gonna listen to you?" _

_"Go ahead and use it if you want. It's not like I care what happens to your little brother."_

"Make it stop…"

_"Lets find out," Envy put a knee to my stomach and I doubled over. I went to throw a punch, but he ducked, spinning and hooking his foot onto my face. I slammed onto the ground but got straight back up, lunging at him._

_"You're gonna pay for this!" I aimed a punch at his face but he dodged gracefully. I kept throwing punches, but he would literally flip out of the way, suddenly playing gymnast. _

_"Keep trying, Ed. I'm much stronger than you!" He landed on his feet but looked down at his ankle. He growled, turning around and stomping at something on the floor behind him. My memory blanked everything but him and I out, I couldn't see what distracted him. I used his distraction to my advantage, throwing my arms around him and pushing him onto the ground. I straddled his waist and held his shoulders down. He struggled under me and tried to get up, but I punched him in the face. I went to punch him again, but suddenly I was looking at the face of a kind looking woman with brown hair and gentle eyes._

_"Don't hurt me, Edward."_

_"Don't MESS WITH ME."I punched her in the face. Another flash of light._

_"Edward, please, stop it!" The 'Doctor Marcoh' from earlier pleaded. I showed him no mercy either._

_"Calm down," The man with glasses teased. I pummeled him._

_"Give up, kid. You don't have what it takes to kill me," Roy's face growled from under me._

_I laughed, "I don't think you could have picked an easier target!" I smashed my fist to his lower jaw, causing his neck to snap up._

_"Show me what you really look like, instead of being a coward, whose only real power is hiding behind other peoples' faces!" I punched Envy's regular face, over and over and over again. I was losing it, my insanity bubbling up to the surface. _

"MAKE IT STOP! MAKEITSTOP! MAKEITSTOPMAKEITSTOP-"

_"Do you really wanna see?" Envy grinned sadistically up at me. _

_"Stop JERKING ME AROUND!" I pulled my arm back to throw the final punch._

_"You asked for it!"_

_A flash of light._

_My fist stopped. Suddenly, my whole body was shaking. I looked down at the blonde man underneath me._

_"What's wrong?" His deep voice asked, "I thought you wanted to see."_

_I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. He had long golden hair, golden eyes, an elongated face with a strong jaw and a straight nose. _

_"You're… his son?"_

"MAKE IT FUCKING STOP-"

_"But then he abandoned me," The blonde man was continuing a story I hadn't been able to hear, "started fresh with his perfect wife and kids. Needless to say, I never did like being replaced." He had this sort of crazed look in his eye and then suddenly pain._

_The worst pain I had ever felt in my life. Right through my chest. It was overwhelming. Devastating. Obliterating. Crushing. Annihilating. Silencing._

_He pulled his arm out of me, tossing my limp body onto the ground._

The pain in my chest amplified tenfold at the last memory. I knew I was screaming, but there was a hand over my mouth, muffling me. I felt tears streaming down my face, my eyes were open but I couldn't see. I felt pain. The center of my chest was on fire.

I don't know how long I laid there. Minutes, hours, days, it didn't matter. The agony I was going through was subsiding and I was slowly gaining my vision back.

I could start to see someone leaning over me. I have stopped screaming, but their hand was still over my mouth. I blinked a few times, clearing the static from my vision, to see that my captor was Envy. He was straddling my hips and had my wrists pinned above my head with his other hand.

"What the hell, Fullmetal?"

I was trembling. I think I had the right to be afraid after everything I had just seen. I halfheartedly struggled under him, thrashing to get free. I pulled at my wrists and shrieked into his hand.

I quickly grew tired of fighting back, my earlier episode having drained all my energy. Envy just held on stronger and leaned in close to my face, looking into my eyes. He seemed confused and… Was that concern I saw?

"Are you done?" Envy asked mundanely. It seemed that the sin was also trying to grasp the situation just as I was.

I mutely nodded my head, not wanting to take my eyes off of him. My body was tense as Envy removed himself from me and sat in the chair by my bed, crossing his legs.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Saying I was confused was an understatement. This guy, who was most likely a very life threatening enemy, was calmly sitting beside me, almost like one of the visitors I had earlier today, like he was a friend.

Envy took a newspaper from the side table and tossed it onto my bed. Huh, Pinako must have left it here. "I heard you were back in town, I was curious," He said, like it was no big deal, "Where'd you go, anyway?"

I shrugged at Envy's question, bringing the paper to my face as I read the title, "Hero of the People Returns to Central!" Below was probably an outdated picture of a young blonde teen wearing a red coat and leather pants. I skimmed the article. Hero of Lior? Gone for four years and hospitalized, okay I knew that. Declared dead? The People's Alchemist? Wow. I've sure got myself one heavy reputation.

Envy decided to fill me in, waving his hands around for effect, "When you left, Gluttony ate Dante. We didn't have anyone to follow, so we just kind of dispersed and went on with our lives. Gluttony never got his mind back, but Wrath kept in touch… Though, I haven't heard from him in a few weeks. And you have no idea what I'm talking about do you?"

Was the blank expression on my face that obvious? I shake my head at him. He leaned forward as if he were observing me.

"I don't remember," was all I could say.

Envy perked up an eyebrow, "Huh? You don't remember what?"

I pursed my lips, "I donno… Everything, really. Except you. I remember you quite clearly…" I felt that deep ache and I reached my hand up and grasped at my chest.

Envy sat back in his chair, crossing his arms, "How do you mean?"

"I just woke up here yesterday. I don't know who I am, I don't know who any of the people are who visit me, and I certainly don't know how I got here. But when I saw you, suddenly a whole bunch of… Memories, I suppose, came crashing down on me. It was worse than that, though. I'm sure you noticed."

Envy seemed taken aback, "You… You really don't remember anything?"

I averted my eyes from him, "Except you, though I'm not sure why."

He then suddenly reached for the hand that was on my chest and replaced it with his own. There was a sharp pain and I gasped, but he just smirked.

"Ah, it makes sense why you would remember _me_. I was the one who killed you," He took the upper corner of my hospital gown and roughly tugged it downwards, slipping it from my shoulders and revealing a huge, nasty scar on my chest. My breath caught in my throat as I looked down at it.

"You killed me? That's… Then, how am I alive? I don't…" I stammered, yelping as Envy brushed a finger along the scar, small tingles of pain following its trail.

"Ooh, tsk," Envy pouted, "I left such a pretty scar, too," he chuckled darkly, "Say, Pipsqueak, do you remember _that_?"

"You could… Change your appearance. How is that possible? You changed into a blonde man and I hesitated… And then pain… My chest…" I croaked out.

Envy peered at me, as if expecting a bigger reaction, "You only saw what happened. You had no idea what was going on in those memories, did you?" He was still fingering my scar and it was making me uncomfortable. Hell, this whole situation was making me uncomfortable, especially the fact that those painful tingles were starting to feel…good. In a bad way.

I shook my head at Envy's question, "It was like I was the Edward in the memories, I could feel everything- physically and emotionally-, I just kept the mind I have now… And it was only me and you, everyone and everything else was blocked out, will you _stop that_?" I snapped at him, glaring. He gave me a curious look before placing his palm directly onto the scar. It sent a spasm through me and I gasped.

"Huh? Why should I?" He smirked.

I squirmed, attempting to push his hand away, "Feeeels weird," I whined childishly. Envy narrowed his eyes at me, but withdrew his hand. He leaned back in the chair.

"I still don't get why you're here! Shouldn't you be trying to kill me or something?" I pulled my hospital gown back up onto my shoulders, trying to take back what dignity I even have.

"Life got boring after you left. You kept things… exciting. And I don't think I'd get the right kicks out of fighting you like this, so you don't have to worry about that."

"Do you know where I went?"

Envy frowned at me, "No. I know you went beyond the gate, but I don't know anything past that."

"Gate?"

He merely shrugged, "Some weird alchemist shit. Don't ask me."

"When I woke up, Alphonse was here. He's my brother. He said something along the lines of that he brought me back from the gate."

"I know he's your brother, dumb fuck. But he brought you back? Hmm…" Envy suddenly looked like a light bulb lit up in his head. "Your memories! Equivalent exchange!"

Equivalent exchange? That phrase struck a chord with me, but I still had no idea what Envy was talking about, "Huh?"

Envy leapt from the chair, "You went through the gate when you sacrificed yourself to bring back your brother and to get back from the gate, you had to sacrifice your memories. The gate, it does this weird thing where you give up something in order for the gate to do something for you or whatever. I don't know, alchemist mumbo jumbo. Doesn't seem like enough, though. Your whole body to go through the first time, and then just your memories the second? Did Alphonse sacrifice anything?" Envy was half thinking out loud, half taking to me. I have no clue what he's talking about with sacrifices and gates, so I just kind of ignore it.

"How am I supposed to know? He seemed fine to me, except he was all emotional and shit. Is he always like that?" Oops, I probably shouldn't badmouth my brother.

Envy chuckled, "Yeah, pretty much. I like to keep tabs on the people around here, and your brother is a strange kid."

"You know these people?" Maybe Envy could help him out with his relationships with his new friends.

"Hell no. Not personally. I watch from a distance. I'm not exactly on good terms with the people around here, thanks to you."

Edward huffed, "Me? What did I do? And I was hoping you'd help me out. I have no idea how to handle anyone. Especially that Roy Mustang guy."

"Oh, you only turned the military against me and my 'family', no big deal," Envy shrugged halfheartedly, "And Mustang? Ever since you left, he's completely given up on himself. Even got demoted and reported to an outpost near Briggs just to isolate himself. Bet the guy's gay for you."

I felt my face heat up at this accusation. Then, I remember a question I had earlier today with my visitors, "How old am I?"

Envy gave me a pitying look, "That really is horrible. You don't have your memories, and you don't know anything about yourself? Damn. I'd say you're around 20 or so. Anything else you wanna know?"

I scoffed, "Besides everything? Please. I don't even know what I look like."

He raised an eyebrow and held out a hand for me. I looked at it questioningly. He sighed, "C'mon, Pipsqueak. I'll take you to a mirror."

I hesitantly accepted it, bringing myself to the edge of the bed and slowly standing up. I groaned, stretching my muscles a bit. I felt a breeze on my bum and squeaked. Hospital gown. Right. I reached behind me and held the ends together as to not show my backside.

Envy grinned at me, eyeing the top of my head, "You're still short." I feel like I should take offence to all these short jokes.

He led me to a bathroom. I stepped inside and slowly raised my eyes to the mirror. The man in the reflection wasn't too bad looking. I was tanned, toned, and tough looking. I had long, impressive golden hair that reached the middle of my back. The color seemed to be the same as my eyes. I had a strong jaw and a muscular body. The automail was a little intimidating. My shoulders were broad and my arm was thick. I turned to the side, still clenching the gown closed, and checked myself out. I looked up for a split second to witness Envy shamelessly doing the same.

"Damn, Shorty, even though you haven't gotten taller, you sure have filled out," He let out a low whistle. I felt heat rise to my face and looked in the mirror to see myself blushing profusely.

"Um, thanks," I mumbled. Envy led me back to my bed and gestured for me to sit back down. I complied.

Envy then turned around and looked through the window. The night was still dark but the morning was starting to peek around the edges, "I gotta go," He turned back to me, "I had fun, maybe I'll find you again," He then leaped from the window without another word.

"Goodnight?" I said to the empty room.

Though, I haven't had many nights here with this fresh mind, I could tell this was definitely going to be one of the stranger ones.

I grabbed my notebook from the table and wrote down new information I learned. I'm 20, I apparently sacrificed myself to bring back my brother, I was beyond some gate, I sacrificed my memories to come back, I remember Envy, Roy is probably in love with me, equivalent exchange, my scar feels funny when Envy touches it, Envy killed me, and I hate hospital gowns.

Wow, I hope no one ever picks up this journal.

Suddenly, the events from tonight all pressed down on me. The automail was still sore, and my chest still ached. Not to mention, I gained one terrible headache from those memories. I groaned and set the journal back on the side table. I closed my eyes and let darkness soothe my aching body.


End file.
